


Soy Into You

by little_specificity



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Crack, F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:36:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28556238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/little_specificity/pseuds/little_specificity
Summary: Ariadne has a crush on a regular customer.
Relationships: Ariadne/Mal Cobb, Arthur/Eames (Inception)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 22
Collections: Secret Saito 2020





	Soy Into You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [QueenThayet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenThayet/gifts).



> This is my first ever crack fic lol I don’t exactly know where it came from

“It’s not creepy to notice things, Arthur,” Ariadne said with a faintly exasperated tone as she tied an apron to her waist, “she’s been coming every week for months.”

“It’s not creepy to be observant,” Arthur said as he leaned on the wall, “what it is, though, is to write about her with so much detail in your-”

“Remind me to never tell you anything ever again.”

Arthur rolled his eyes.

“What I’m trying to say, is that you should make a move already instead of acting like a little girl. Actually, a lot of little girls would have at least tried to befriend their crush by now.”

“I can’t, I’m working!” Ariadne didn’t even turn around, knowing that she would be greeted by Arthur’s raised brow.

"I'm your boss, you have permission to flirt."

"I don't want to make her uncomfortable."

"Do it just a little and see her reaction."

"It's… unprofessional."

"Again, I'm your boss and-" Arthur shook his head, "Ariadne, she's into you, alright? I know it, everyone knows it."

Ariadne glared at him as she adjusted her ponytail.

"Don't be a jerk."

"Let's go over that little routine of yours, alright?"

"What-"

"She comes every Wednesday and Friday."

Ariadne nodded.

“She comes to the counter and...?"

"Orders?"

"Walks straight at you, no matter if Eames and I are also here, and orders whatever you recommend," Arthur smirked. "Every time."

"She trusts my judgment, we're both French!"

"Your grandparents were French! You don't even speak the language!" Arthur said, getting increasingly exasperated.

"I have the citizenship!" 

"Ariadne, for fuck's sake, I've heard her compliment your outfit a thousand times."

"Girls compliment each other!" 

"You wear a uniform, why would she say it flatters you all the time?"

At that point, they were both frowning at each other and Arthur remembered just why he never meddled into anybody's love life.

"Darlings," Eames appeared from the kitchen, making both Arthur and Ariadne look in his direction, "you both know seeing Arthur angry when I didn't cause it does it for me, but you're scaring customers away."

"We just opened, there's no one here yet!" Ariadne signaled to the empty room with an angry look.

"My point exactly."

Ariadne crossed her arms and Arthur's mouth pressed in a line.

"I'm just trying to convince her to make a move on that girl Mal," Arthur said.

"Oh," Eames said, "yeah, you should. Today, preferably."

“Why tod-”

"See? Eames agrees!"

"Guys, you don't-"

"Don't you see a pattern here?" Arthur asked looking at the girl, "she doesn't come here because she likes our, I don't know, carrot and pistachio cake. She comes here because of you."

"Maybe she loves our carrot and pistachio cake, like many others do, because it's made by my own fair hands, with love," Eames narrowed his eyes at Arthur, who rolled his in turn. Then he looked at Ariadne. "But he's right, love, you should try your luck with our pretty friend."

Ariadne sighed and her expression softened.

"I won't make any promises," Ariadne sighed, "she's just so… beautiful, and looks so mature… So out of my league..."

Both Arthur's and Eames's hands that were on their way to each one of Ariadne's shoulders stilled in the air. Their softened expressions changed into forcefully neutral ones, as they signaled the door with their eyes.

"Oh shit, what's she doing here? Today it's a Tuesday!" Ariadne said in frantic whispers when she turned around. "I'm wearing a ponytail! This is so not my power look, guys help-"

Both Arthur and Eames disappeared into the kitchen, leaving a betrayed Ariadne to watch how Mal approached the counter with a smile, her eyes set on the girl.

"Hi!" Ariadne tried for a friendly note, wishing she could get her hands into her pockets.

"Bonjour," Mal greeted, looking like her usual gorgeous, elegant self. God, Ariadne thought, I should have gotten rid of the ponytail as soon as the door opened.

"How are you? What can I get you?"

"I'm feeling a little bit adventurous today," Mal turned her gentle smile into an almost conspiratorial one as she looked at the pastries on display, "what haven't you tried?"

"I, um," Ariadne thought for a second, "the carrot and pistachio cake."

Mal nodded to herself, bit her lip and looked at Ariadne again.

"Would you like to try it with me?" Mal asked, slightly leaning forwards, staring into Ariadne's soul with her blue gaze. Ariadne got slack-jawed.

The truth was that Ariadne hadn't tried it before because she was allergic to pistachios, but there was no other possible word that wasn't "yes" in her vocabulary at that moment.

"Yes," Ariadne answered, feeling her cheeks getting increasingly warm and a giggle fighting its way out of her body. Thankfully, she won the battle. Not for much. 

"Perfect," Mal smiled brightly.

There was a beat of silence.

"I should, um, ask my boss if I can take my break now," Ariadne said, making it sound like a question. She knew she wouldn't be able to wipe off her ridiculous grin even if she tried, the weight of what had just happened still settling in.

Mal looked at a point behind Ariadne and grinned. The girl turned around only to find Eames, quickly hiding a thumbs up.

**Author's Note:**

> Listen, I'm sure Elliot looks lovely with a ponytail but I need to project on the characters at least a little and I feel self-conscious when I wear ponytails.
> 
> Also, recipient dearest, I hope you had a lovely Christmas and New Year.
> 
> [ Come say hi on my Tumblr!](https://little-specificity.tumblr.com)


End file.
